


Side to Side

by Miso



Category: SCTV (Canada TV)
Genre: (kinda), Hate Sex, Light BDSM, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rule 34, im sorry i hate myself too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 03:01:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9799844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miso/pseuds/Miso
Summary: Earl and Floyd's first experience together is a little more than Earl bargained for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hey mr. owl how many days does it take for a nerdy lady to write porn for a fandom she only recently learned consisted of more than like 8 people? TWO DAYS APPARENTLY. realistically floyd and earl would probably have a lot more literal hate sex but shhhhh i just wanted to write porn

The air was heavy and reeked of sweat and cigarette smoke. Earl stared at the ceiling, gripping the blankets and breathing heavily. Floyd, beside him, cocked an eyebrow and took a drag off his cigarette. "You're acting like you've never had sex before."

"N-not like that."  
***

A lot of the night had felt like a whirlwind, but Earl's memories got clear again when he was shoved onto the bed, naked as a jay bird, Floyd practically destroying his clothes before him. He'd never been so alarmed, confused, and aroused at the same time in his life. He'd never imagined Floyd like this.

Okay, that was a lie. He had. Just not this rough. He barely had time to process what was going on when warm weight settled atop him and teeth set into his neck again. "Jesus! Don't I have enough hickeys?" Earl asked, trying to keep the mood as light as he could.

"Don't talk," Floyd hissed, intense hazel eyes boring into Earl's soul. "I don't wanna hear a fucking peep out of you. Speak when you're spoken to. Understood?"

"... Yes?"

"Not good enough." Floyd gripped Earl's face, hard. "The answer you're looking for is yes, sir."

"Y-yes, sir?" Earl's tone was still somewhat inquisitory. "Um. Permission to speak, sir?"

"Granted."

"I've never done anything like this before."

Floyd quirked an eyebrow. "Do you have a safe word?"

"What?"

Floyd heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes. "A safe word, idiot. If you need to stop you use the safe word. Most people I know pick something stupid so they're out of the mood and it gets attention."

"..." Earl thought a moment. "Um. What's a good one?"

Earl swore he heard Floyd mutter "Jesus Christ" under his breath before he spoke. "Fuckin'. Escalator, Jesus, I don't care, I'm just not trying to kill you."

"Coulda fooled me," Earl said, instantly regretting it when Floyd's hand went around his throat. "Um. S-sorry, sir?"

"I'm not going to tolerate attitude. I can and will punish you if you mouth off to me again. Am I clear?"

"Crystal, sir," Earl said, feeling a surge run through his body despite himself. This isn't something he saw himself getting off on, but... maybe it wasn't bad. He'd read a couple trashy paperbacks that had something like this in it, but it was always some hunky Adonis ordering around some helpless maiden. Floyd was no muscle-bound deity, but he was intimidating in an interesting way.

"Stop thinking and answer my questions." Earl snapped himself out of his thoughts when Floyd tugged his hair. "Are you okay with this? I can tone it down if you aren't." His voice was suddenly less stern. Hell, it almost sounded like he had some sort of emotion besides seething hatred.

"I... I think I like it, sir," Earl responded. "It's... it's kinda weird, but-"

Floyd snorted and released his grip on Earl's hair, then reached into a drawer at the bedside. "Hands and knees. It'll be easier on you if that's how we do it."

Earl blushed a little as he moved into the position Floyd seemed to want, then squeaked and tensed a little as one, then two cold, wet fingers pushed into him.

"Relax. It'll hurt if you don't." Floyd nibbled at Earl's shoulder and he shuddered, then relaxed. Okay. Sure, Earl had some practice, but he'd seen Floyd's cock. He had a feeling he'd hurt a lot more than two fingers. He still found himself whimpering as the touch ceased, leaving him empty.

"Hold still." The cap on the lube popped open, there was a brief pause in the action, and then something much, much bigger than two fingers was pressing into him. Holy shit. Yeah, he was right. Earl gritted his teeth and tried to remember to breathe.

Floyd snarled as his hips touched Earl's, a harsh, primal noise that sent jolts of electricity down Earl's spine. "Christ... you're tighter than most people I've had." Floyd's tongue snaked up the shell of Earl's ear. Another shudder ran through his body. "You may speak."

"Th-thank you, sir... I'm... be gentle at first, okay? Kinda... kinda hurts."

"Good hurt or bad?"

"I-I think it's good but i-is it supposed to hurt?"

"This your first time?"

"I-In general, sir? N-no, but... it's been a while..."

"Explains it." Floyd pressed a kiss that could almost be mistaken for tender to Earl's shoulder. "Relax. It hurts because you're tense." A slow, agonizingly slow thrust. "It'll... fuck... it'll feel good soon."

Earl gasped and white-knuckled the headboard as Floyd jerked his hips forward roughly. The rest of the night was a blissful, blurry eternity, a world of pleasure and agony Earl had never thought could coexist. A few moments stood out to him in the blur.

The possessive lick of his neck followed by yet another rough bite leaving yet another bruise.

Floyd's nails leaving raised, occasionally bloody trails on Earl's shoulders and hips, while Earl left several gouges in the headboard.

His glasses falling off and onto the floor as Floyd shoved him down onto the mattress with his head dangling off the side of the bed, and how he didn't even register it until after they were done.

The way Floyd growled like a wild animal and swore when Earl called his name as he shuddered his way through the third orgasm of the night.

Laying on his back with his legs on Floyd's shoulders, gripping the blankets in one hand and Floyd's shoulder with the other, the blankets wet with sweat and come.

And finally, good god, finally, Floyd tensing and roaring like a bull before shoving his entire length in him and stilling, trembling as he filled him with so much wet heat that he felt like he could ascend into heaven right there.  
***

"You alright, Camembert?" Floyd asked, nudging Earl's shoulder. Earl licked his lips and swallowed hard, then managed to shakily sit up. "I probably shouldn't have been so rough, huh."

"N-no, I... I liked it." Earl blushed, running his fingers through his mussed curls. "I liked it a lot. More than I thought I would."

"Good. I mean, I could've figured that out when you came three times, but."

"Yeah. I didn't think guys could do that, but... I guess if I just keep going, huh?"

"Mmm." Floyd stubbed out his cigarette and casually wrapped an arm around Earl's shoulders. "You need some water or something?"

"Water... sounds fantastic." Earl was quiet for a second. "I... don't think I can move."

***

Earl winced as he eased himself into his seat at the news desk. Floyd watched him momentarily, then whispered, "You doing alright?"

Earl nodded. "I think so," he whispered back. "I mean... I'm sore. Obviously. You did a number on me. I've been walking like a saddle-sore cowboy all day." He straightened his bow tie and his papers. "But I think I'm okay. Sammy Maudlin laughed at me."

"He laughed or he smiled? Like he knew something?"

"Second one, really."

Floyd chuckled low in his throat. Earl didn't think he'd ever heard him laugh before. Not while he was sober, anyway. "Yeah, he knows. You can hear him and Bittman ten miles away."

Earl stared at Floyd for a minute, then said, "Maudlin's gay? Bobby's gay?"

An uncomfortable beat. "Earl. A good eighty percent of the people that work here are gay. I'm gay. You're gay. What we did last night was gay sex."

"But-"

"Everyone involved in this conversation, directly or indirectly, is gay."

"..." Earl shrugged and turned back to his news items. Floyd shook his head and sipped his coffee before Earl slid a note his way. He unfolded it, and read the chicken scratch within with a bemused smirk.

_Can I come over again tonight? ___


End file.
